Monday, October 29, 2012

drizzle.


there's no heart in sight

my mind is racing

stop 

well.

strip woes.

call on favors the thoughts are aflame
can't keep tabs, pull off the frames

the lies are sheathed, well kept in our countenance

stay firm, ready for exclamation, slightly exhausted
to keep our corners
folded and neatly secured

no more trapper keepers and hallway notes
staples of our once believed life

and my heart is racing

no slumber, 
fighting off the sublime

smiles are meant for days beyond our days
in the meantime we wear our what have you mays

drenched in the perfume of warm beer and mint cloves.
alternatives and compromises, diets and starved minds

staring at barren cups and speckled saucers
wondering what vague universe has packed away for their undoing

and my heart is pacing

slow.

slow

keep tracing the lines of your ageless suspicions
washing the filth from your 'ware
dirt from your nails

scraping the barrels, 
scratching at the cats eyes
we are here for the occasion

and my mind is racing

dream

spent

days

end.

Friday, October 26, 2012

over and doneso

i've come to the realization in the past few weeks, that i've finally let go of all of the directed anger once dominant in my immediate life. there are a handful of friends and family i've chosen to disregard for various legitimate reasons, and only recently have i reconciled with my emotions, so much so that i feel the weight of my past has finally lifted into a cloud of no importance.

mind you, i still continue to remain silent to these parties, but at least now i can move on with my life and not dwell on useless remains.

so cheers to you my faceless imaginary friends, whose eyes and mouths identify and encourage me in my constant meanderings, and hold not hatred towards my predictable actions.

xoxo,

gossip girl.

one trick tonal


all awash 
with the greys of another day lost.

crawl space, attic highs,
knees weak from dead horses
relinquish and delay, capture and release

my chamber is endless, human and scarred
wavering and spontaneous, but well thought and obsessed

there is no OFF! button or human switch
bait me with half wit and unrehearsed dialogue

to have and have not is the norm, 
and charm has lost its grace.

to walk wire and string balloons as high as chance
to wander in this trust, whatever it may be.

i see the looks and gazes
the way you hang like portraits of perfect dysfunction
been way too encumbered to have read between 
expiration notices and unsigned leases

this is a wash.

this is a claim.

we seem to fade
as quick as our ad libs and retractions.

i could write you the perfect paraphrase
to your unrealized quips
and unfinished biographies
no summaries or handicaps, 
just unborn literary drones

i'll stay here now
forever in the womb of intention
stammering; on the straight and careless.

my only mistake was letting you see my sleeve.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

gone.


i am captive.
to the lines in your eyes.

captioned.
by question marks, uncertainty and punctual gazes.
perpetual lives, standoff on the far end of ships already sailed.

i am captive.
with nowhere to fall, ears deaf, bodies stone.

unrelentingly slow and undeterminably absent.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

stray fire


i stand here so painfully obvious in your courtship, however so polite, as boys will be on occasion

drinking from your lips' sweet consonants, the mouth of a drawn out life lorn passenger, relentlessly trying to manage the balance beam, shifting and straightening; making certain the air pockets stay within their limits. 

how is it, to work our lives away, and spend none of it creating anything of importance.

i lay my legs folded next to yours, pattern your angular posture, breathe your air and mimic all the skies temperament to simply be in alignment, and understand all of the woes of latter teenage angst, driven off by broken spirit and bloody noses.

my want is the only constant. our chanced detours are few and far, specific and grandiose. i make the most of us, and leave you to be your own, forgetful and unaware, but wholly self-conscious beauty.

i know i'm of no bother, the moments are welcomed and indulged, but never recounted. i stumble, too cautiously, my flawed life insistence, to falter alone by my own wronging. 

i am an appointment, a scheduled fragment, a number drawn, in the ocean of your convenience. 

pedestals aside, to wonder, if your eyes and anxieties ever will coincide with one willing boy king.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

steam tilt wavering



we can drink in parking lots
and wear out our centennial sleeves
posture perfect banter 
in the overlaying, skylit reprieve

shut in. lungs. stall
fenced. out. trysts. teen crawl

do do do do, 
do do do do, 
(steam tilt wavering)
do do do do, 
do do do!
(steam tilt wavering)
(x2)

hands are tattooed yesterdays
from a momentary align
smell you on my cigarettes
and a surrogate burned, into my face
i could wry a thousand lives
and comb, the drawls of our menial cries

stark. mill. dull freight
part. tall. scratch. wrists. ache



do do do do, 
do do do do, 
(steam tilt wavering)
do do do do, 
do do do!
(steam tilt wavering)
(x2)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

frontwards (roads in detour)

the world was all strung, headed up like a toddler. my first half, at first felt like nothing absolute. then pour, oh detour felt the surge in my thighs, pulsating through my bloodstream, like a new glow, quite acute, as sure as a childhood cartoon. glowing happy. sold and bought off. no crashes. and i thought of you. we stood like detours in the stream of half minded wit. dancing, touching toes, but never fingertipped in the fancies of our trivial marriage of consonants. mouth, my sweet intention, it's only to pare down our awkward, merely a exercise, hardly hinged and misdirected disparage. i could stand and stand well in the midriff of your literary device, and take more abuse than welcomed, if only to hear the sweet thistle of your calm, weathered pragmatic emblems. i could live and die in your gaze, averted and invited, beaming like the proud womb of perfection.