you don't

deserve this

deserve me

deserve us

disservice to it all

drunk and fishing for some invisible handout

while it stood in front of you all along.

goodbye to the fuzz

hello claritas

down and dirt grieved

shoes soiled

friends passed over

due diligence and secretarial work

stay for awhile

and drink someone else's life.

pills.

we could line the walls 

with perfect paragraphs

still the exits

are best described;

manic regiments

and time continuum martyrs

in abraxas we are all in-tact

come on babe and crumble

in our canopy cascade

reading minds in my leisure lay

i could swallow pills

til im pushin daises

on a monday, monday

skirt in with your mother

coming down from the rafters

im the panic in your pageant praise

storming the pariah

meant to lead in with dis-taste

all the mockery you set aside 

come on babe and crumble

in our canopy cascade

reading minds in my leisure lay

i could swallow pills

til im pushin daises

on a monday, monday

come on see me darling

i'm a mess in a party dress

im addressed to your stark ends

i could swallow pills til

the morning after

or next. 

squints & countenances

she sleeps in til noon
devoid of harnesses of human sheathes
smokes her cigarettes
in her leisure
shuffles her fingers

muses on memories
makes new arguments
shields old harborings

she's an indie queen
former limelight tween

sold her lungs and student loans
for lives singular and wholly in betterment

life on a string, slowly threading the needlepoint
catching twinkles, exploiting stars
staying up late
shelving scars

pretty and accurate
pretty insanely practical

storming the pan-am
starlets and figures of pandemonium
cash in hand
guard down
meddle with these kids
sore and run up the tallies

dirty messed up conversations, from previous
wavering over the complexities
of linear and unhinged family ties

it doesn't have to be so much of a car crash
mending spoons
digging out the hearts
wondering whose cold you've got

holding onto fingertips
of a stranger you wish
would just leave it be
and keep sake
only stolen time
in exchange for this one last lie.