you have gone on.

quite honestly and less vaguely
i am at arms length
to hindsight and emotional reckoning
trying to understand
where we found ourselves lost from
our happiest explorations

left behind the candid dispersal
long nights
filled with dreams and idiosyncrasies
late night petaled lips
and carefully rewarding phone calls

i just want to know you're all right.

but time kills all joy
stews in the obsolete
craves what once was

i was a murder to your crow
a wave in the ocean of your denial
unfinished business
unresolved factions

rebound from books pulled at the seams
trivial pursuant
pretending that this was much less serious
than what you led on

we didn't define things
let our hands do the talking
and our eyes averted
always staring down some other prize

carefree and careless
easy going down the rabbit hole
never to return
to the state of understatement and coarse levees

you could have been a queen
raised up glasses
and made up beds

slept it all away

gave it all way

in the silence and disappearances

pushed it all away

in all honesty
bloodshed and broken promises
this is what you do, you said

there is only so much leeway you can give yourself
to surrender to the same vices and anxieties
repeat cyclist
inevitable scrutiny

we've seen our rooms
dirty and whole
with no apologies
just explanations

and yet, after all the tongue ties
the court dates
the exasperated hours

you still walked away from all of this
with no apologies
no explanations

just brick & mortar.