hold the afterthought

it seems as i get older the more i seem to forget simple things that should have been cemented in childhood. while preparing my turkey burger tonight, i stood at odds with the question of does mayonnaise mix well with mustard?

as commonplace and mundane as it seems, i contemplated this for about a minute and a half. another thing i've noticed as i get older is my tendency to hold tight to "sure thing" choices and always cast the unknown into the dark where it lies, baited, waiting to attack my steadfast sensibility.


i thought back to when fuddruckers was a weekly family outing, and i hovered over the nacho-esque cheese bowl waiting to overcompensate my burger with hot melty goodness, secretly masking the taste of mustard and any other assorted condiments virtually tasteless.

thinking back even further, sadly, my only real association with mustard to this day comes in the form of a statement that my childhood friend's father said to us one day while eating burgers: eat mustard, it makes your d__k grow. while i never believed that to begin with back then, to this day i can't help but crack a smile every time i think of a grown man weaving that phrase into gold.

though i wish his pops had been a tad more insightful, as to explain to us which foods went best with said choice or more importantly how his statement actually made any significantly proof worthy sense. i could imagine him now, forming his thesis, making his arguments, closing with that same line of magical aspirations.

so then, with the choice in place sight, in my own unbelievably boorish way, i chose to take the plunge off the cliff and try something i hadn't tried in quite a long time: i gently spread mayo on one side of my double toasted country potato bun, and mustard on the other.

add to that mild cheddar and some leftover mushrooms and onions.

and let me tell you, it was fantastic.